CARROT COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT

EVIDENCE BOARD - CASE #GRB-42069

subject: the rabbit. again. it is always the rabbit.

active

PRIME SUSPECT

WANTED

FOR: grand theft everything
REWARD: 1 (one) carrot

reward used to be bigger. he grabbed the budget.

SUSPECT PROFILE

NAME: GRABBIT
SPECIES: rabbit, allegedly
ALIAS: "he just grab it"
LAST SEEN: everywhere
MOTIVE: none. he just grab it.
ARMED: no. worse. fast.
STATUS: still out there. still grabbing.

ENHANCED.JPG - zoomed in. still smiling.

EXHIBIT A

EVIDENCE TAG - DO NOT REMOVE

CONTRACT ADDRESS

0x389ddf60047a5b1714572cacc17b383be99214f5

do not share this address. everyone shared it.

HOW TO GRAB (1/4)get a wallet that works on Robinhood Chain. name it something innocent.

HOW TO GRAB (2/4)fund it. this part is legal. enjoy it while it lasts.

HOW TO GRAB (3/4)paste exhibit A into the dex. hands steady. eyes open.

HOW TO GRAB (4/4)grab it. that's it. no giving back.

OFFICIAL CASE REPORT

CARROT COUNTY PD - INCIDENT REPORT - FORM 42069-B

THE VAULT INCIDENT

at approximately 02:14 AM, suspect entered the vault. he did not force the lock. the door stayed closed. we do not know how. cameras show him waving at us.

items taken: the carrots, the other carrots, the vault door handle, and this officer's lunch.

when confronted, suspect said, quote, "YOINK", end quote, and departed at a speed this officer is not physically capable of.

suspect then deployed himself on Robinhood Chain. we consider this a confession. he considers it a launch.

recommendation: give up.

filed by Officer T. Ortoise

gave up

WITNESS #1"he waved at me. i waved back. my wallet was gone." - local pigeon

WITNESS #2"10/10 heist. very clean. would be robbed again." - the bank, somehow

WITNESS #3"i trained 30 years to catch him. he was on a skateboard." - Officer T. Ortoise

EVIDENCE WALL - CLICK TO ENHANCE

internal photo - the department's own board. he signed it.

leaked broadcast - suspect reported his own crime.

witness picked him instantly. he waved back.

exhibit B - swore to tell the truth. the carrots say otherwise.

GRABBIT THE FIRST, oil on canvas, circa 1495. it runs in the family.

day off - sleeping on the evidence. literally.

pursuit footage - Officer T. Ortoise never stood a chance.

undercover photo - the disguise fooled nobody.

safehouse cam - carbo loading before the next job.

interrogation room 2 - he requested the cookies as a lawyer.

surveillance photo - subject reported "laying low".

evidence #001: THE CARROT. also wanted.

KNOWN ASSOCIATES

the hamster - getaway driver. wheel not included.

the pigeon - lookout. looked the other way.

the raccoon - brings his own crowbar.

the frog - master of disguise. it is one mustache.

the mole - night vision. still can't see. it's fine.

LAST KNOWN LOCATIONS

🐦

X / TWITTER

he posts his own crimes. daily.

💬

the hideout. password: YOINK.

📈

CHART

live footage of the damage.

$GRABBIT is a memecoin on Robinhood Chain. it has no utility, no roadmap, and no remorse. this board is a parody and not financial advice. do not invest anything you cannot afford to have grabbed.